Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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