You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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