After last night, I could never be a politician.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
