I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
