Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
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I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.