Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
third nipple confirmed
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever