can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters