I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?