Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.