Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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