Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
