Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
