Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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