i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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