i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
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