I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
