I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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