He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
