just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize