so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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