I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
