I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
