awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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