3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
