He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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