So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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