I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
