Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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