WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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