I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize