we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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