he wants to bone in the snuggie
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
