do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
