We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
