I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
