Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
