You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
