this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize