i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
