i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I will pee on everything he values.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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