Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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