How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
