My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
