I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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