The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
