She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
