one might say we're banned from that church
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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