hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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