Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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