Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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