about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
