Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The adults are the big ones right?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
