just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
