Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
