Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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