He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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