so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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