please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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