would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
