whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
