glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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