Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is my gift to your gina
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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