I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
