Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
