I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
