Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
