I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
