every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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