i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
