walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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