so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
