I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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